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Review of Jurassic World (Spoilers)

Jurassic Park was/is one of the greatest.  Tales of morality, consequences, and to respect nature.  Sadly it’s transitioned into.  An pop culture junk food franchise.   I could go on and on.  About the disappointments of the previous two sequels.  Fourteen years later, we get Jurassic World.  Where, this is more of what.  I’d like to call an re-quel.  Where it’s not an sequel or an remake.  It’s more of, telling the audience.  That Jurassic Park The Lost World.  And Jurassic Park III never happened.  So the sequels are just getting remade.  Last chance, if you haven’t seen the film.  Stop reading this review now.  You have been warned.

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Since Sir Richard Attenbrough’s passing.  John Hammond’s name/idea is not in vain.  Jurassic World, is now an Central American.  Inclusive resort/theme park – esque idea.   It’s an blink and you miss it.  But if you look real carefully.  You’ll see an Golden Statue dedicated to Hammond’s memory.  Kind of like Walt Disney.  I must confess, I did like the exterior.  Of Jurassic World, with it’s big.  Beautiful and lush greenery.  In the distance it makes it.  As an one of a kind attraction.  For everyone to par take.  “Not just for the super rich.”  As John once stated. I also have to confess.  I also liked the petting zoo section.  Where kids could ride baby Triceratops.

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The T-Rex showing, is kind of like the 1st film.  Where a goat is left as bait.  Only this time, it’s an a safer exhibit.  Where Patrons, walk into. An stone building complete with its specialty glass.  Where you can see the animal.  It can’t see you.  Not to mention one of the newest. creatures to make an appearance, the Mosasaure.   A prehistoric crocodile/shark ordeal.  Think of it as Shamu.  Complete with splash zone.  As it devours, an shark.  I’m guessing this is what Hammond wanted.  Still like it’s previous predecessors.  Nature will find an way.  To defeat mankind’s power.  By that, I mean as the dominant species.

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Per usual,  (pardon the pun) the biggest issue.  Is that the humans, are uninteresting.  And when you place bland uninteresting.  Humans mixed in with C.G.I. Dinosaurs.  You know what you get?  CHAOS!  First there’s Bryce Dallas Howard. Better known as Ron Howard’s daughter.  Better known as (in my opinion) acting flat in every performance.  From The Village, Spider Man 3. I could go on and on.  It doesn’t matter if it was the previous director’s fault.  Maybe she should try the Sofia Coppola effect.  And work behind the camera’s.

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She’s the park’s Operations Manager.  Who’s job is to try to reinvent the wheel.  Or the next big dinosaur.  Apparently, people are glad that these beasts are cloned.  But now are thought of as elephants.  So an new species of Carnivore is being created.  The I-Rex, think of it as an cross between an Raptor and T-Rex.  There are other species.  But I think these two suffice.  It also is being kept away from the public.  Where (I’m guessing) other species were allowed to interact with humans.  Behind the scenes, just like local Zoos.  Let me put it this way.  There is a local zoo not too far from me.  A bear gave birth to two bear cubs.

For fifteen dollars, the public was allowed.  To line up and pet them.  Granted it was heavily supervised.   And they were sedated.  The idea was for them to get a scent of man.  So to make them, feel like an companion.  Not as a threat, or so we humans could hope.

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I must confess though.  I liked the last ten minutes of The Lost World.  Where the T-Rex, attacked San Diego.  Why are the meat eaters still vicious.  When science can alter their D.N.A.?  Well I think the answer would be.  It would go from horror to E.T.  I don’t think the fans wanted that.  And yet, the Raptors have been taken down a few pegs.  We get Chris Pratt who plays Owen Grady.  As an Ex-Naval officer. Now turned Raptor whisper?   Who is trying to tame three of the most famous dinos.  Who he has called Blue, Echo and Delta.  You’d think my eyes would roll.  But they did not.  It felt like fan fiction at times.  And at other times, there are only.  So many Raptor attacks we the audience can stomach.

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If only we could have seen him.  As an T-Rex wrangler.  Let’s not forget an unrecognizable Vincent D’Onofrio.  Who plays Vic Hoskins.  The head of Ingen’s security.  He also wants to make the Raptors and possible the T-Rex.  A new weapon for the U.S. Forces.   I got to admit.  If you remember in the 80’s.  There was an toy line called Dino-Riders.  Where Dinosaurs were equipped with future technology.  I would so pay to see an live action film of that toy line.  And in hindsight, that would have been an better idea.  For the fourth film.  I had heard an rumor. That Ingen was supposed to cross human with Dino D.N.A.  Oh well what are you going to do?

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The Fein-Al Verdict

I could go on and on.  The 1st film wasn’t an masterpiece.  But it wasn’t an creature feature.  Also the pacing had an batter pay off.  Case in point when the I-Rex makes an appearance.  Like the Spinosaur from the last film. It just runs across the screen.  What makes the first film work so well.  Was the pacing and shadowing.  The T-Rex could show up anywhere.  Once the power went out.  The Raptors were just hiding in the tall grass.  And able to out smart the humans.  Here the I-Rex pulling an “clever girl,” moment should have worked.  But with the “Dinosaurs Attack,” formula.  Another 80’s reference that no one remembers.  It just feels like an C.G.I. mess.  People getting torn apart by Dinosaurs has gotten boring.  On a side note, there are kids.  Like every Jurassic film.  The kids are the sidekicks/plot devices.  Here we get Zach and Gary, but they don’t help move the film.  And other then they’re able to fix the original J.P. Jeep.  They have no chemistry with each other.  And can’t play off the other actors.  With the exception of Chris Pratt.  And the Jurassic Park T-Shirt Tech Guy.  The humans, are flat, lifeless, and prop-ish.  The second and third acts of the story.  Trying to contain the escaped I-Rex.  Fighting off Pterodactyls, who have gotten free.  Just feels like someone getting pulled apart. By an hungry carnivore.  And that’s never a good thing.  For all it’s worth. The Jurassic World Tech.  Wearing  an Jurassic Park shirt.  Stating in mint condition, it ranges from $200.00 – $300.00.  As well as Mr. D.N.A. making a small cameo.  “Sigh,” you can’t blame the original for trying. To pass the buck, onto the next generation.

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