TFG1MIKE 365 – 2019 Day 121
I Have To Have Brain Surgery
Hello all and welcome to a NEW Daily Blog series from me… TFG1Mike! The idea here is for me to write something, anything, once a day for 365 days. From January 1, 2019 to December 31, 2019. In my 121st entry, I’ll be talking about the fact that I have to have Brain Surgery. No this is not a joke, but the way I deal with it is self-deprecating humor. I always knew I was brain damaged!
As you can see from the image above, I have large amounts of fluid on my brain (all that white stuff isn’t supposed to be there). From what we can tell, it has been building up all my life. If you’ve ever listened to any of my podcasts in the last ten and a half years, you’ll know that I was born with a mild case of Cerebral Palsy that affects the entire right side of my body. I’ve dealt with this all my life, and I’m at a point now in my 39 years of being on this planet, that I just accept it. When I was younger I was bullied, made fun of, and other such cruel things. I used to lash out in retaliation, but now I just go with the flow when it comes to my CP. I was also born with Optic Atrophy with Astigmatism, and when I was younger I was classified as being “Legally Blind”.
I’ve had headaches all my life. With my Mom dying 4 years ago… sometimes they’d get worse. For the past 6 months to a year they have been steadily getting worse. The prescribed 600mg Ibuprofen I’m on sometimes wouldn’t even help. The only thing that would help is lying down in a very dark room, and eventually falling asleep — but sometimes even that doesn’t work. Several months ago my GP told me I had migraines, which seemed to fit at the time. Then a few weeks ago on April 16th, I woke up, and as soon as I got out of bed my head started pounding. This is nothing that wasn’t normal to me. So I went into my office, took my morning pills, and tried to go on with my day. Sadly the headache got so bad that the pain was all over, as well as inside and outside of my right ear. I was out of commission pretty much all day and night, and I was only getting up to see if my wife needed anything, or to go to the bathroom. I am not a medication abuser, but short of going to the ER I didn’t know what else to do, so within the entire day of the 16th, I took a total of 15 ibuprofen. I also tried a warm and then cold wash cloth, that didn’t work either. The next day April 17th, I called my doctor’s office and told them I had to be seen that day. A CT scan was done that day and the doctor I’d seen (who was covering for my GP) called me within 30 minutes telling me I had a lot of fluid on the brain and I needed an MRI “stat” to get better pictures. So MRI was scheduled, along with a Neurologist and finally, yesterday, the Neurosurgeon. I have the surgery appointment this Monday, May 6th. I have to have a Endoscopic Third Ventriculostomy done. What they are gonna do is put in a brain drain, and drain the fluid off my brain, and hope that’s all that’s needed…. if that doesn’t work, a shunt will have to be put in. Everyone on the medical team, my wife, and amazing friends are telling me that it should ease my pain and everything. My surgeon said that there are risks, but there are risks in everything we do. I know I can’t go through the rest of my life with the intense pain I’ve had for the last three weeks.
Karen has been so wonderful, not that she wasn’t already, but I’m glad I have her by my side while I’m going through this. My Dad is even coming up for the surgery as well. On the inside all I can think is the worst possible things. I’m scared as hell, and my general positive attitude that I try to have…. is swerving to the negative lately. My first thought after the doctor called me and talked to me about the CT scan, was oh great I’m brain dead, or I will be. My first thought with the news of having to have surgery is… I hope I don’t come out a vegetable, I hate vegetables! If I don’t sit here and make these jokes, then my brain goes down that very dark and depressing path of oh shit what are we gonna do now?
I’m writing this, because I need to put it out there in the world. That is how I’ve always been, at least since I’ve been on social media. I’m so damned lucky for my wife being who she is, loving me no matter what, and the friends and family that I have. Thank you all in advance for your well wishes and other good vibes sent my way. So I haven’t been keeping up with this daily blog thing, and I don’t know if I will. Obviously podcasts will be on hold until I get out of the hospital. It’s like I’ve always said, “Life comes before podcasting.” I gotta get my head together before I can continue to do anything else.