TFG1MIKE 365 – 2019 Day 18
How do people do it? How do we get through life?
“Block it out, and POWER ON THROUGH!” is the advice Bruce Wayne/Batman gives Terry/Batman Beyond in Return of the Joker
Hello all and welcome to a NEW Daily Blog series from me… TFG1Mike! The idea here is for me to write something, anything, once a day for 365 days. From January 1, 2019 to December 31, 2019. In my 19th entry, I’ll be talking about just exactly how the hell we get through life.
My Mom died in 2015, and it has been a wild and crazy ride for the past four years. My life infinitely changed for the best on August 6th, 2017. That’s the day my future wife and I started talking. This August will mark 2 years of us being together, and this December will be our second wedding anniversary. In the last year though we have both faced enormous life challenges. We are getting through it together, because together we can get through anything.
There used to be a standard “life path”, but that has gone out the window. In these modern times, everyone’s life path is different. When I was a kid, I was raised in the belief that you go to school, you learn, you grow, you graduate high school, attend college, get married, have a good job, and kids. Well that “American Dream” isn’t what my life turned out to be. I’ve talked about being born with a mild case of Cerebral Palsy, and all that entails with my vision issues, and everything else that’s wrong with me. Because of these physical disabilities, I also have a learning disability as well. There are times when I’ll mix things up, get ideas that just don’t make any sense to anyone, other than me. I’ll twist things around in my brain, get things backwards, and generally when I think too much… it hurts. Most people find their significant others in their 20s, get married, have kids, and by their 30s they have great jobs, and are making it through life on the “standard” path. I was 37 years old before I found someone that I loved, and was in love with that I wanted to marry. In general I can’t stand kids, and specifically to my life, I was not sure if the Cerebral Palsy would be passed down to the kids Karen and I might have had. At this point I’m too old and broken to take care of kids. I’m also too mentally inept to even think about doing that.
THESE ARE NOT EXCUSES, THESE ARE THE FACTS OF MY LIFE! YES I’m very grateful, and appreciative of the life I have with my wife, but life is ruff at times! <—Yes that’s a Dog joke! We will wake up in the morning in pain, and then attempt to go through the day. Cleaning the house, grocery shopping, going to the gym, and whatever else we might do. If we are gone for 2 to 3 hours doing all of these tasks, by the time we get home…. we just wanna sleep for a month, and that’s just ONE DAY of the week.There was one week earlier in 2018, where we were at the DHS office three days out of the week! That’s a whole other story though.
Lately my sleeping pattern has been extremely off. I normally try to go to bed at or before midnight, at the latest. However it depends on what activities I’ve done that day. There are times when I’ll be in bed at 8 or 9pm, and awake at 2am. Which is exactly what happened as I am writing this. My normal pattern is to sleep, hopefully from 10 or 11pm until between 4-7am the next morning. As the quote says above, “Block it out, and power on through.” Well it’s hard to do that when you are in so much pain from just walking up and down the stairs.
Myself and my wife can’t be the only ones that feel this way can we? Not everyone has the same struggles in life, but I’m willing to assume that everyone feels defeated by living life at times. While it would be great that we could all live happy, fun-filled lives, that isn’t realistic. I try my best every day, but lately, within the last week… I have been a day late in writing these blogs. I have a routine that I go by, and I stick with it, until I just need to go lie down again. What I’ve said in this entry, doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to live the life I have. I just can’t seem to see a way to make the life my wife and I have better for the both of us.
What are the ways that you deal with living life? Let me know in the comments below!
Join me tomorrow morning January 19, 2019 as I’ll be writing about either Scrappy Doo or Nickelback.
“You either get busy living, or get busy dying.” – Andy to Red in The Shawshank Redemption